I felt like a bad mom today. Not because of anything in particular that happened,
just habits I let build up and then
all of a sudden, are staring me in the face, like right now.
It's hard working full time
and staying fully present as a mom.
who likes to read. write. blog. create.
let alone, keep up the laundry.
I'm not as territorial as I need to be...with my time, my space, my stuff.
because most of the time, it really doesn't bother me.
or I feel guilty staking those claims.
until I hear myself speaking in hurried tones. counting the hours until bedtime.
and then I find myself, like right now, when I peek in on their sweet, slumbering faces, remembering the kind of mom I said I was going to be.
and I regroup.
16 comments:
Only a good Mom...a REALLY GOOD Mom, Carin...is open and self-reflective enough to admit to herself when she had an off day, feel sorry about it, and make it up to her little ones the next day.
For then your girls will know that you are human, you make mistakes, you learn, you grow, and you are BETTER. And in turn, they will know it's safe for them to make mistakes too, and still feel just as loved and valued.
Tomorrow will be better. :)
And I bet they hardly noticed as much as you think they did. :)
Love you.
And pssstt...you are one of my top role models for Mommyhood. Always will be.
Just wait until they manipulate you to get what they want using your bad mommy day against you.....then see how the guilt pours in!
Your a great mom.....it's a new day tomorrow!!!!
thought I'd check my blog one last time before heading to bed. because, well, as much as I try to write for me, I'm a glutton for comments...especially yours.
thank you.
that was me who deleted. Can't stand typos...
shit, so true. I don't know you but think you are a pretty rockin mom. Sounds like you realized that when you peaked in on your girls....sometimes it takes hurrying through something to realize that something is worth taking our time with.
That's what a REAL good mom does - regroup and try again. We put too much pressure on ourselves to be "perfect moms" all the time. Thank you for sharing and being so honest.
By the way - congrats on your new house!
I clicked over to you from Megan's blog and I had to comment on this because I can totally relate! I am also a full-time working mommy (although I get 2 months off for summer vacation). I am officially back at school in 19 days and I am already starting to feel that pressure again. Trying to stay on top of everything, trying to do a good job at everything. I usually feel like I'm failing in one area... if I'm organized at school, my house is a mess. If my house is clean, I haven't spent enough time with my kids. I want to be Supermom, Superwife, Superteacher and be exceptional at everything, but I can't. The fact that you are concerned about this shows just what a good mommy you are. I'm sure of it. (Even though I don't know you!) :)
I think you're a great mom! And your girls are proof of that - they are so friendly, clever, and hilarious! I really loved spending time with them on Monday, thanks again for coming over!! :)
Sweetie! A bad Mom wouldn't think twice.....you thought about it! You, my friend are a WONDERFUL mother! And all of those things that you do...read.. create..blog..make you a better mom! If you didnt have outlets you would truly explode! My kid didnt come with a manual, did yours? Remember PROGRESS not PERFECTION! Love you!
You are an awesome mom!! I think sometimes we get busy and look back with these guilt feelings. Our lives are so cluttered in this day and age. I find myself comparing my "mommy" skills to June Cleaver or my own mom. Life was so much simpler back then, it just appears that they were these "perfect" moms. I like to regroup too... usually with a margarita, that really helps. Can't you just picture June Cleaver doing that? LOL :) ~Jill :)
oh my goodness, I just wrote about this today...so similar in our thoughts! I'll have to check out that book...I'm so glad to know that other moms go through these times...
What great advice you got from these ladies...you're a good mommy! I can see it in your girl's eyes...they feel loved deeply~
Oh my gosh - you have been in my HEAD, haven't you??? I am constantly thinking I'm such a "mediocre" Mom at times. I had such grand ideas of what a great mom I would be until I had kids - it was all going to be rainbows and butterflies, wasn't it? And then... REALITY. It is HARD. Really hard. And when you have to juggle work, marriage, motherhood, and all the countless other STUFF life throws at you, I think we all have off days (all the time).
So, please don't feel bad. I think we are ALL there.
I heard this bit of wisdom once, and I try to remind myself of this (often): "Never compare your 'insides' to someone else's 'outsides'."
Remember that every other mom you run into at the store, in the park, etc looks like they have it ALL together, but of course they are just as frazzled and overwhelmed as we ALL are!
Keep smiling and keep moving forward! :-)
I just wanted to comment after your sweet comment you left on my blog...
I had a really good cry this afternoon in the car after I took the toddler to get fitted for shoes for an upcoming wedding...my oh my the temper tantrums...I just cried in the car...felt good! I haven't had a good cry in a long time...
Now, I'm enjoying a good glass of red wine! Wished we lived closer...we'd go get a nice drink together with some really cheesy fatty food to go along with it!
thanks for the comment!
i love what Jenn wrote: ditto on that! I know how you feel though. You are such a great mom...I love that you care so much. That is a lot of what makes a great mom...you have it!!!
psstt:one of my biggest role-models (jenn) says that you are one of hers...that is a HUGE compliment and well-deserved:) love ya, xoxo
Oh, I could so have written this entry. We all feel that way at times. You put it beautifully. All we can do is try again tomorrow...
here... here!
you're the best! seriously!
Post a Comment