sitting here tonight...warm and cozy beneath my blanket...lost in thought.
sometimes I have these rather...existential crises...and I wonder what to do
with my life. I realize these musings may indeed solicit sighs and rolled eyes as
I realize I'm a bit of a dreamer.
nevertheless...
in these moments, I feel such an urgency at the brevity of life - not
because I'm dissatisfied, but because I love it so much and want to
do it all...it's kind of like waking up on my days off with such elation
and urgency at all the day's possibilites...what should I do with this
one wild and precious day? shall I go thrifting? catch up on tedious
errands and chores? paint? write? photograph? tjmaxx? hobby lobby?
yet, it's on a much larger scale...what should I do with my one wild
and precious life? because I want it to be big. I do. I want it to matter.
and I want to leave my mark. to know when I'm old and gray that I went
after my dreams, however silly they seemed.
and now it's late and tomorrow morning I will vow never to
blog again while sipping a beer.
g'nite.
"Like all dreamers, I confuse disenchantment with truth." Jean-Paul Sartre
"I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." Thoreau
"Dreams are necessary to life. " anais nin
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt
for more inspiration, read this post.
13 comments:
Never roll my eyes at this.
I think this is truth - when you stop for a moment and wonder, and something moves you to "be".
At those moments sometimes the feeling underneath it all is sort of lonely, like I must be the only one thinking this.
So I'm glad you wrote.
how sweet it is to click "comments" before heading off to bed and finding your words.
thank you.
You are so precious, Carin. You have made many somethings wonderful, beyond memories for your children and grandchildren. The stairway to heaven. You have already taught them about and through all the things you skipped today. And, forgetting about time briefly (it is so, no matter what the earth-days' measure), you dreamed in that beautiful, inspired moment.
Here's a short poem for you, "Mother to Son [Child]" by Langston Hughes:
Well, [child], I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So [child], don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
And, some thoughts from Nobel Prize laureates--
Physics, Carl Rubbia:
"I have persistence . . . I kept trying."
Physics, Albert Einstein:
"It's not that I'm so smart. I just stick with a problem longer.
Literature, Albert Camus:
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
Peace, Fridtjof Nansen:
"The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer."
Love you.
It looks so cozy there! Wish I was in a blanket sipping on a beer next to you dreaming!
Miss you!
Oh, I was like, who is this wise eawilde, and now i know!!! It's Aunt E! I love Langston Hughes. Had a class on him...love love that stair poem. That oughta get your sticky legs unstuck. Dewebbing. Love your bedroom and can't believe i haven't seen it in person yet. love you.
Great post, Carin. And I agree with Kulio too.... I think we women kind of struggle "alone" with this and assume we're the only ones who don't have it all figured out. However, this is a regular struggle in my life, too.
There are still SOO many things I want to do in my (one) life, and life simply isn't long enough (!!)
However, I just continue to pray that God shows me what his will is for my life, and I keep trying to move in that direction.
I was telling my small group the other night that I want to "see to the horizon" of my life, but God has only given me a small little flashlight, and I can only see a very few steps at a time. And that's OK... that's where faith comes in. :-)
that room is beautiful...peaceful and serene:)
your post, beautiful! true. spoken, written rather so perfectly.
xoxo
I want to come and sit in your living room...it looks so cozy. ahhhh, I can feel the winter in your home...I bet you are just loving your new place!
I almost drank and blogged one night...I'm glad I stopped...you on the other hand put it beautifully! I love it!
Stay warm friend!
i'm clapping my hands... laughing... smiling... loving your post!
you're just so beautiful in so many ways!
that looks like a very familiar spot. i'd love to be sitting there with you.
i love this post...
thank you, kulio, eawilde, and everyone else for your thoughts.
you fill me up.
man...i feel like this all the time!
there is so much. so much to do. so much to feel. so much to learn. so much to try. and i want to do well. and matter.
i am glad to know i am not the only one.
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