...I'm afraid you'll forget the picnics we took - with a real basket - and the afternoons I spent reading silly stories in your classrooms with a big fancy hat on my head...stories like amelia bedelia and the stinky cheese man. Sometimes, I'm afraid you'll forget the nights I cheered prayers at bedtime and the wee hours of early mornings I laid on the bathroom floor with you when you were sick. Sometimes, I'm afraid you'll forget the tea parties and art projects and napkin notes in your lunches. Sometimes, I'm afraid you'll only remember...these rainy days that I desperately try to fill with sunshine. I promise time heals all wounds - I promise. I love you.
"...and someday you'll know
that nature is so
the same rain that draws you near me
falls on rivers and land
on forests and sand
makes the beautiful world that you'll see
in the morning..."
17 comments:
this is so precious & caring.
it's in this type of soul-writing you can hold on and know you're such a good mom...
<3 u.
i have had the same fears and feelings too many times to even count. being a mom is THE most painful, beautiful, wonderful, scarriest, satisfying thing in the world. and i could not trade it for anything. however, had i known the depth of pain there is at even the THOUGHT of something hurting my children, had i had a small dose of THAT pain, i would choose not to have kids because i cant bear the thought of someone preying on thier innocence.
please understand how i mean that. i too have cried that they wont remember all the little things we shared and i did for them. things that have become so precious to me, and that no one else can understand, but another mom. it hurts. but such is life. if our kids make it to be loving healthy adults, we have done our job well.
just as we have our favorite memories of when we were little, so will they. fear not, they WILL remember, hon. they will. i hope you understand how i meant this post. i love my kids SO much. i couldnt live without them.
but i share in your bittersweet sentiment.
mom to mom.
C
They will never forget. Did you? Even in the darkest hours...those memories are like sweet chains that hold us firm to the true anchors of life. I love you.
Don't be afraid......they will remember all the memories you have helped create for them. Just keep creating girl!
Your girls are BEAUTIFUL! A reflection of YOU!
someday they will not only remember, but understand.
blessed to is the day we understand understand our mothers.
Someday they will be as strong and courageous as you. Its going to be ok. when its not, Im here. When it is, Im here. I promise. It will be ok. They will too. :)
oh gosh... they will never forget... just like you cherish those moments... so will they!
they are growing up with a mother who would do ANYTHING for them... a STRONG... flippng MIGHTY woman... girl YOU are the wind that moves their sails! they are so lucky to have you... so lucky!
made me cry, you are the mom i aspire to be.
They won't forget. Promise.
And not only will they NOT forget, but I predict they will one day repeat many of those same quirky, precious little traditions with their own babies, like cheering prayers and scribbling "I love you for who you are" messages, or taking one of them for a drive when she just NEEDS some time of her own with you...
...because you are teaching them how to be a good mom right now.
...a Mom who loves them bigger and better than all of the rainshowers life can possibly dish out.
Promise!!
Love you
xoxox
jc
Well I can promise you that no one can EVER forget "chinese pig" :)
Promise--we will still tip out of our plastic "beach" chairs, laughing at family "ToppersMy word verification was "recryfait" !
I have decided that good days don't "happen" but rather they are hewn and carved out of the chaos and crucible of life's challenges. We "decide" to be happy and we "claim" our tiny piece of peaceful turf on the battlefield. I pray that today, you will grab your good day from all the forces that intended a different kind of day for you. That you can live above the din and darkness that is there for us all, but we position ourself away from it. Rockstar Warrior--live it UP today!
Just sitting here at 1:57 a.m. rereading this post and all the comments--dad's, barb's beths, molly's, jen's, aunt esther's and all these beautiful strangers--and sobbing. you have a few puzzle pieces right now--and so do they. they don't make much sense, but over the course of a few years, they will find more pieces and things will start fitting together. and it will be whole again. dad's right...through all the bitter, cold stuff we went through...what i remember now--years later--is nothing of the bitter cold...but only the beautiful. our christmas eves. our vacations laying in the back of the citation. our purple room and styrofoam cup phones. olympic games with goodrich cousins. jumping on bunkbeds. graff trucks. family camp. creation plays and waking you up to finish your algebra homework...and washing your retainers for you. you know what? even not being able to listen to kenny g's b-bop seems pretty funny now. love you. your optimism and overwhelming love for your girls stands about everything else.
sweet memories of childhood always guide us through the ways of life and they help us to e a better person ever and ever...
I have been following you blog as well as your sister's blog. I love your writings and pics.
sometimes....
i wonder if you'll ever post again.
thinking of you.
verification: goness
weird...
It is like walking throgh a cemetary...something hauntingly compelling that makes me keep stopping by, hoping, wishing, praying...like the corridors of a once-busy business closed and moved away...but if you listen, you can almost hear the echoes of what was and better days and so you sit and stay awhile. Come back, it won't always be like this.
wow. I haven't been here in a while and am catching up...this post makes me all teary. You are a fab mama and I just know your girls will remember. xo from Montana
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