sitting here at my computer with a just brewed french press, a pint of cream, and my favorite mug that reads grow. I should be cleaning my apartment, especially since I'm kind of inspired. I bought a $3 room spray at the bath and body clearance...sometimes I have to go buy something like that to get me inspired to clean. Because it's so much more fun to clean when you feel like cleaning...when you have $3 of spearmint eucalyptus to spray when you're finished. But...I'm even more inspired to write than clean.
so write I shall...
or maybe not. that first paragraph was at least an hour ago. my coffee is cold, though I keep taking sips. I find myself wanting to come up with this...really great recap of my year...but it just feels like I'm, I don't know, trying to polish a turd....because in a lot of ways, it sucked. Try and romanticize saying good bye to your kids every other week. And yet at the same time, it was so good...so much so that all the words I've written and deleted just don't seem to do it justice...
maybe the words will come tomorrow...
g'nite.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
recap
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10 comments:
It is all in the presentation and the perception. Hold your "Grow" mug and realize you have...you are. It is about looking ahead and not back. You are stronger, happier, wholer (not a word, I know, but I couldn't give up the "er" thing I had going there). Your sweet home there, your proud daughters, your wonderful new sojourner and his precious children...pick up the broken bricks and build of the tomb a tower. You are so alive now--I see it in your posture and hear it in your prose. (But stop using words like "turd"--they make your father's skin crawl). I love you and have never been prouder.
it didn't suck...at all. i've never seen more wonderful things happen in your life. ever. love you.
but saying goodbye to gramma goldie, i bet, was really sucky. i'll give you that.
You are alive, you still have breath left in your being, and life in your incredibly beautiful soul.
That's it! You captured it. What is "it"? It's the moment. The elusive moment of how you're feeling right here, right now. So what if you find that room spray months from now in the jumble of dusty cleaning supplies under your kitchen sink. It will be a beautiful surprise the next time you feel like cleaning. Love you being in the moment.
I have just spent the last couple hours reading your blog, listening to Any Other World on repeat (one of my favorites) and crying. I'm experiencing what I think must be heartbreak for the first time at 22 and your blog brought me to tears. At first the tears were those of sadness, but as I kept reading your words of strength and hope, and as I saw more and more pictures of your beautiful daughters, they turned to tears of joy. I am trying to find other things in life to give me joy, and your words truly show me that it's possible. We've never met but I just wanted to thank you.
Katy, hold on. Joy is within reach. Your words brought you into our hearts...and I hope you can feel an ethereal hug sent from others on the journey. If Blogland is real, we are marking a trail for you to find your way. Love and happy hopes are sent your way.
katy...
you made my day.
thinking of you tonight.
To Carin's dad: Thank you for your kind words. Currently I'm searching for the strength I need to begin moving on. Your words give me hope. You have raised a strong, beautiful, stylish daughter who gives hope to those who need it.
Carin: Thank you for your thoughts, and your words on this blog. You have a new faithful reader.
turd polishing...can't. stop. laughing. calling kelle now to laugh!! xoxox
usually don't like the word "turd" myself...but in this case, seems perfectly fitting! i admire your strength and courage.
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