for janita... (see comment on who am I)
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life..."
“Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted.”
“When they asked me what I wanted to be I said I didn’t know.
"Oh, sure you know," the photographer said.
"She wants," said Jay Cee wittily, "to be everything.”
“I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain; and never shut myself up in a numb core of nonfeeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out. To learn and think: to think and live; to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love.”
“I want to write because I have the urge to excel in one medium of translation and expression of life. I can't be satisfied with the colossal job of merely living. Oh, no, I must order life in sonnets and sestinas and provide a verbal reflector for my 60-watt lighted head.”
“So much working, reading, thinking, living to do! A lifetime is not long enough.”
I get it. You're not alone. My ridiculousness sometimes makes me sad, too. Emily Dickinson said the fact that life will never come again is what makes it so sweet.
And, it is sweet. Bloody sweet. This is why I stay up too late. Every night. I never want the day to end...don't want to stop writing, reading, learning, reaching, growing, loving...
And, you might not measure up to all your kids' unrealistic, idealistic images of the perfect parent. Mine didn't and neither am I. But they did a lot right. And, they love me.
Here's a song for you.
Now go take a bath.
You'll feel better.
“I am sure there are things that can't be cured by a good bath but I can't think of one.” Sylvia Plath
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
some midday sylvia plath.
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6 comments:
You're the bomb.
Thank you. I needed this today.
And Janita wept.
I don't even know where that comment came from this morning, however after reading your post, I felt the need to share. And holy barn cat's balls, Carin, you get me...you really get me. Each word you wrote landed on my heart. I'm still crying. I think I love you. Thank you. For taking the time to read it, for caring enough to share this post, for being you. Human kindness is overflowing.
You've likely heard of this quote by Shauna Neiguist - it made me stand up and shout (in a good way): "I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.” This is my religion. xo
“I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain; and never shut myself up in a numb core of nonfeeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out. To learn and think: to think and live; to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love.”
Love this.
Love it.
Thank you.
That's me. Staying up late and fighting exhaustion all day cause there just aren't enough hours.
awesome. i agree with previous comments. our kids do grow up and thrive inspite of us parents. they know that we love them unconditionally, even when we mess up. also, i love your blog. the end.
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