day 11

Apartment is quiet...feeling thankful I am, at this moment, at the brink of my long weekend and not the close....got home from work and stopped to pick up my girls at friends....returned home with my three, plus two extras...and headed to the pool.  I ran on the treadmill while they swam.  Our complex has both an outdoor pool and an indoor pool...so, while they swam outside, I finished my run, jumped in the indoor pool and managed to swim a few laps before they spotted me.  Upon their sighting, they all screamed and joined me in the indoor pool where we had handstand contests (apparently, my straddle handstand is shaky, however, my standard straight is a bit stronger), somewhat synchronized routines, and a warm up in the sauna.  I so needed it.  I always get sad right about this time....the weekend just before school starts...just looking back at the summer...wondering if it was good enough...wondering what they might write about on the first day of school and so hoping their back to school report doesn't include the letters, TV...so, it felt good to give them a good send-off , especially since yesterday was kind of a poopy day.  I have class on Thursday evenings and I can tell they're going to be difficult days.  Big picture, I tell myself, big picture.

Went to Barb's last night as she watched the girls while I was in class.  She is getting married soon.  I cannot attend and I am sad.  You, see, I love her.  We are the same person.  We have jenga cupboards; the contents of which not only spill out upon opening, but are often not related and ill appointed.   But, outside of the cupboards, her house is a sanctuary...Henry Bendel candles.  Low-lit lamps.  Good music.  Imperfect beds with heavenly linens, handmade quilts and fluffy pillows.   She played songs from the wedding playlist and we did what anyone would do upon hearing Etta James croon At Last...we stood on the bed and, well, we joined her, as loud as we could. 

As I conclude, I look around my empty apartment and see evidence of three girls...fiber one bar wrappers, wet towels (sigh), drawings of peace signs...and I like...and I miss them.  Some of these Friday nights are harder than others.  Big picture, I tell myself, big picture.

“If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be.”  John Heywood

Cheers...to experiences....to latent forces within us...to vigorous and happy.