I am popping in for 88 89 92 99! lovely followers and 38 beloved commenters. I don't know why I haven't blogged in so long. I have an all or nothing personality that is a blessing and a curse. More often than not, the pendulum is way over here or way over there as opposed to resting nicely in the middle. I work very hard at finding balance, though my sister says this is just the way we are. And instead of accepting this and going merrily on my way, I think deep, exploring nature vs. nurture, wondering if I'm just wired this way, or if it's just all I know - and in that case, perhaps I should push myself to be different...better. And such is the madness of my mind. Madness that takes up time. Time that could be otherwise spent doing other things. Like blogging. Bettering myself. Where is that line between embracing myself and pushing myself....
But here is what happened. I was going gung ho. Gung ho working. Gung ho school. Gung ho kids. Gung ho speech class. Gung ho blogging. Gung ho running. And this often equates to gung ho mess. Gung ho chaos. And then I have to regroup. Slam on the brakes. Reign it back in. Restore some order. Do some laundry. Clean my bathrooms. Feed my soul. Not that all those other things don't feed my soul - because they do. It's just that one day I wake up and I'm bored. Have to change it all up. Some people are the same all the time. I'm not, no matter how hard I try. I'm kind of a fly-by-nighter. Even though I always wanted to be that girl that always buys the same lipstick at the Clinique counter when hers runs out or who cleans her bathrooms every Thursday. But I'm not. I'm just never the same.
So, that's what happened. I woke up and had to change it all up. Had to just stop. Pick up a real journal with a real pen. Buy new crayons. Read a novel. Had to watch a movie. Had to organize. Had to try a new recipe. Had to go to bed early.
But, I'm kinda ready to change it up again. Go gung ho blogging again. Write about my dog and the unabridged journals of Sylvia Plath. Thrift store finds.
So, that is where I've been.
That and a little kayak researching.
Friday, December 03, 2010
nature vs. nurture, gung ho, and other such nonsense.
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37 comments:
A girl after my own heart, you can't do anything half-assed. LOVE IT.
And it's more exciting, I think, keeps things poppin'. Cuz it's about passion, baby!
As Walt Whitman said, Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
Here's to being large and containing multitudes!
good for you!
You know what, the beauty of this life is that yes, you can choose to stop blogging if that's what you desire. And I totally relate to just wanting to stop and take a different road for a bit. You know, spice things up. :) I love that!
Sorry but no other way to say it than... sh**, I just think you are the coolest!
So happy to see you posted and thanks for popping in for us commenters! I do hope you it helped you to write it all out as well.
I spent 2009 in "gung ho" everything mode. Ended up half-a##ing most everything since I had my hand in way too many things. Made the decision that 2010 was going to the the year of "be more, do less" and all has been much more enjoyable.
A friend posted something like this to facebook and decided it will be my 2011 motto...
Although sacrifice is a beautiful and necessary part of motherhood, we can't let it define us. Caring for yourself is smart, not selfish. Pursuing interests is exciting, not a waste, enjoying friends is healthy, not frivolous. Live the life you want your children to live. Show them how it's done!
Love,
Jill B (Overland Park, KS)
This mystery will never stop haunting me: how can we be only related by blood and not just marriage? :)
Loving you so.
It's too early. I should know to not comment before 9am. ha! That should have said "...NOT be related by blood..."
where's the coffee??????
I find myself wondering if somewhere in China there is a village called Gung. And if there is, were the village to have a brothel, would those ladies be Gung Ho's? But then, my mind is wired weird...hey, wired weird--like a corrected typo! You are so present tense, Car, and that is what I love about you. Have a day that is thick, wide and full.
Glad to hear you are gung ho-ing it! Adding a little spice, a little flavour to this thing we call life. This beautiful, unique, valued and treasured life. You were missed, but although missed I am glad you are nourishing your soul, your heart, your spirit-- because that is what matters.
OOoh I can't wait to hear about the dog! :)
Hooray for you. For your beautiful life. For your lovely soul. For you living the now, right where you are.
Welcome back. . . your words have been missed.
Yay..you are back! I have missed your thoughts put ever so delicately into words. :) LOL at Poppa Rik's comment....Love.that.
I am not that kinda girl, either. It is fun to change it up every once in awhile - keeps things exciting and refreshing. I get it, totally!
xoxo
Deanna
I'm a sporadic soul too. Can't live on a schedule. Can't eat oatmeal every morning or be the Wednesday Taco Night mom or the Fruday grocery shopper. I do when I do. Sometimes you gotts shop on a Monday night, make tacos, then clean the house all in one fell swoop. And sometimes you gotta just get takeout and say to hell with the shopping and cleaning.
--k.d
when you do blog, and write your words, it feeds my soul. thanks for the heart-snack this morning. you're brilliant and we all need to hear from you when you get a chance. look at it this way...when life gets busy and unorganized and you wait to serve us these tasty words, it makes them so much more delectable!
love you!
thanks for making my day with a new post! I love your inspiration.
So glad to see a post today! Understand about taking a break now and then.
You are inspiring and make my day.
I'm with you. I get addicted to something for a while and do NOTHING else. Then I get bored and COMPLETELY change directions.
Right now I am LIVING at the gym. Speaking of which, I'd better go catch that 7pm class!
Glad you're back!
welcome back!!!
do things as the spirit moves me myself...been that way all my life and guess what I am NEVER bored!! I have never been nor will I ever be predictable...makes life around here very interesting. that AD? -I invented it!! anyway, welcome back and I hope all is well
I swear I think we must have been separated at birth.
Glad you are back!
love your post! good for you!
I
get
you
.
:-)
excuse me missy?? 90 followers. Just sayin' :-)
Your funny.
I am a creature of habit and I wish I could change that about myself!
i so get
all or nothing
it's how
we r wired
i often think
i would love
to be that
well balanced
put together soul
but then
i quickly get
so bored
and wonder
what's next?
and then what?
i want to
not MISS anything
in life
i believe that
ur words
ur thoughts
ur experiences
is what makes
so many of us
wanting more!
i love to hear
about gaga with the girls
dreams of kayaks
new pups
keep squeezing
the most of this life
u'll never be bored
and think of those
poor souls
who already know
what they
will be doing
every wednesday
forever
i, too, am
from the town
of gung
i love u being
my new neighbor!
rock it girl
without those fences
nothing is impossible!
xoxo rosa
ps
please
don't even think of
"different..better"
continue life
breaking those lines
embrace push
dance love
u r all that
and more
xoxo rosa
you'be been missed. I am a new follower-thru your sister-and just want to say, you've been missed:)
I too live life under the pretense of "all out...til burn out." I can so relate to you!
97...thanks...I've been waiting for that ;)
I have missed reading what you write. And part of me wondered if you were doing okay. What a weird world this blog universe is. I'm concerned now for a person I only know thru reading her blogs. Amazing.
I love it.
What a world.
These blogs I read provide inspiration and reality checks.
oh man, I SO know what you mean... I've always dreamed about being the girl who knows, like really KNOWS how to do her hair and does it that way every day, and knows what she's doing when she puts on her makeup because she uses the same stuff, always. And she has an organized pantry and makes a grocery list when she goes shopping and she never runs out of anything, like toilet paper. And she goes to bed at the same time every night and wakes up at the same time every day - even if it's the weekend. And her house is always clean and ready for unexpected guests to drop by without humiliation. She never forgets to set her coffee maker and she always has cream AND sugar. Like I said, I SO know who this girl is you speak of with the same lipstick... and I've longed to be her as well. But when I stop and think about it, if I were her, I wouldn't have half as much to talk about or to feel good about or to love. Change is good. And I always have to remind myself that I am who I am and I need to love THAT girl, because that other girl just isn't me. Not at all. And that is totally ok...
Glad your back, can't wait to see what is coming...I know it will be awesome.
what a great blog, i love the way your write, for a moment i thought it was my own brain talking to me ! i have always thought i was a freak in the all or nothing approach but glad to see i am in talented company.
oh and to the commenter Rik - you are kind of right - I live in Hong Kong and there is a big province in southern china called Guangzhou and it's pronounciation is not far off Gung Ho at all (Guang Hoe) hahaha
looking forward to becomming a follower
xx
,,,changing it up is a good thing and you do it so well,,,look forward to your "nature vs nurture, gung ho, and other such nonsense" because you keep it real for this gal who is gung ho one minute and NOT the next,,,hope your days are merry and bright!,,,
actually
it is now 113!
xoxo rosa
Yay!!! So glad, so happy, so inspired...LOVED your post!!!
And, may I say...loved Poppa Rik's thoughts/comment!! U are so very 'present tense', and that's why I think we 'clicked' (among many other crazy love reasons!). MY FAVE: I LOVE the "present tense" thought...and going to keep loving it, & keep it in my thoughts, & the self-criticism part of my brainular area as I stand back and admire the many things within my home that I have decided to paint, create, make my own since my divorce, and paint over, create over and make over not what is to be expected, but what is to be "me", "my own" and according to my 3 beautiful sons, "that is so you, mom!". And if that wasn't enough for me to whip out two sticks of butter and some chocolate chips, my middle boy hits me with this gem: "Thanks for sharing this side of you with us. We want to see more. Our friends mom's are nice & everything, but they don't seem real (huh?). You are real. And true to you. And true to our family. Thanks for that" Of course he HAD to sneak in there: "Need any help getting those cookies in the oven?"
AH HA!!!!
Words from a 13 year old boy. When our eyes first met, as he was placed in my arms, & I showered his little face with thankful tears for God blessing me with yet another (his older bro by 15 mos was doin' his lil' older bro jig...and his younger bro was still 22 mos away from his appearance!) I SWEAR I could see in his little blinking eyes a depth of soul that ran deeper than any I have ever seen...even the kind of wisdom in the eyes of my beloved grandparents who survived the many things their generation survived.
His eyes and what were behind them amazed and startled me, at the same time. They were eyes of greatness. They held or carried a knowing of what lay ahead, if that is possible, and at the moment his pools of brown beauties met mine. And he smiled (& no, it was not gas, as my MIL attempted to interject her ability to 'break' the moment...thanks for that!)
Nonetheless, I do truly believe, for a moment, I saw God. And in that moment, I cried tears of thanks, as much as I cried tears of hope. Hope for these eyes to see and feel only good things. And when he is challenged by God to see less than good things, I prayed to give him the strength & wisdom I SEE he has been blessed with, at all of 5 minutes old, to meet such challenges with grace, beauty, wisdom & faith. And to live in the here & now, in the present. And love every moment. Like his mama. I just KNOW he will. I believe He heard me. And I know Nicky was a part of that prayer, too.
And at this moment, so far, he has lived in and appreciated all that he is given. And not just the material things. He truly appreciates all the love, wonder, wisdom, comfort, trust, friendship from the love of his 2 brothers, a gigantic yellow lab (who thinks he is teeny tiny) dog, a neurotic cat and his one & only: Mama. He loves family life. Like I said, I felt he was very "present" in that prayer in the delivery room, as he is so very present in every moment of his life. He is my middle. And they sure do tug at those heart strings, as we have talked about many times, girl!!!
Thanks for taking that time you needed, sweetie. We all need that time!!! So happy you are back!!! YAY!!! Thanks for letting me vent, too!!! Love & Kisses to the girls, too.
And thanks to Poppa Rik for pointing out that you ARE a "present tense" chick! It made me realize that in myself too. And I love when that happens.
PS: Did u get my email? And the pix? Good Lord woman, what I have done to my house!!! I LOVE it. Need some feedback...yeah, all the way from my beloved E Lansing!!! Go Green!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Holls
Found your blog today and so enjoyed it! I hope you are still gung ho about the blogging bc I'd like to ready more.
PS. Love the photos!
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